Transporter Trilogy

Over the weekend, I picked up the DVD for Transporter 3 because of two reason: 1. I have a soft spot in my heart for Jason Statham and 2. I wanted to complete the trilogy no matter what.

I am going to say this as nicely as possible. I hated the movie.

Now let me explain something here. When the first one came out in 2002, it was amazing in my opinion because of the James Bond-ish, cool guy in black suit with a nice car, trying so hard not to let his guard down attitude, who could kick everyones butt and still look clean and fresh. And even though the script was pretty poor and the acting not so good, it kept the audience interested and entertained.

Then came Transporter 2 -in 2005 – which was probably the worst action movie made in my opinion that year and I was not surprised to see it flop as it did at the box office. Of course the script went from bad to worse, the acting even worse than the script and the story line was boring to say the least. I was hoping that the franchise got the message and decided to stop with 2.

Not a chance, they decided to release Transporter 3 last year and all I kept thinking as I saw the television and billboard ads, was why why why. Sure enough number 3 tanked worse than the first two and here are the reasons why:

The story is about, well who knows. The leading lady Valentina from the Ukraine,(Natalya Rudakova) with her annoying voice and piss poor acting would just not stay quiet. You almost wish she would die in the movie just so you can enjoy whatever is left of it. Frank Martin (Statham) became too soft in the movie, that is a no no for the transporter. The fight scenes were not very well choreographed, the stunts unbelievable and boring and once again the French cop had no special purpose in the movie. I think I was so focused on the disaster of the movie that I cannot for the life of me remember what the plot was about.

I think it is best to bury this one, it has run its course and if I were Statham I would stay far far away from another Transporter. Avoid renting this one unless there is absolutely nothing else to rent.